The Disappointments Room, F
Rated R, 100 minutes
It's just too easy to come up with some cheesy puns for a horror film called "The Disappointments Room," a disjointed mess of a movie from director D.J. Caruso ("I Am Number Four") and writer/actor Wentworth Miller of "Prison Break" and an immense disappointment. Looking for a fresh start, Dana (Kate Beckinsale, blonde and looking lost here-is that redundant?) and David (Mel Raido) move from Brooklyn to a once-grand southern mansion with their 5-year-old son (Duncan Joiner), but Dana's discovery of a secret room unleashes unexplainable events that test her sanity and slowly reveal the home's terrifying past. Understandably coming in with little press or marketing behind it, "The Disappointments Room" is an awful experience that likely went very wrong in post-production, and the choppy, uneven feel to it can be attributed to reshoots and a terrible editing job, which was probably a challenge given the material. The lovely but poor Beckinsale is wasted as the woman, a smart architect who for some reason is haunted by ghosts, including creepy little girls and a creepy Gerald McRaney, due to a mysterious room called a disappointments room used by upscale families long ago who wanted to hide their disabled or disfigured children. There's never any great insight as to why or what the ghosts want, and if Beckinsale's character is dreaming all this up or is just plain crazy, not to mention doing stupid things like walking in the country at night or just standing there if she hears a creature in the bushes. Add in a young, handsome contractor (Lucas Till, the new McGyver) and a very talky, slightly creepy character actress Celia Weston for good looks and laughs, and you still don't have much. I was utterly confused by the ending, but then "The Disappointments Room" doesn't have much going for it all, and easily my pick for worst film of the year, in spite of Beckinsale, who I anticipate will be better in the upcoming "Underworld" sequel.