Review: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows: D
Rated PG-13, 100 minutes
If you have young ones in the target demographic of the new action comedy sequel "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows" then it's a perfect time to drop them off at the movie theater or find your own movie to see. The follow-up to the 2014 hit "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" that reimagined them in CGI form, this is as silly, loud and overdone as that previous effort, which means it'll be a big hit for uber-producer Michael Bay. I just want to know how much they paid a decent, award-winning actress like Laura Linney to appear in this dreck (she's grabbing the green, and it's not the turtles, just saying) as a cop. Michelangelo, Donatello, Leonardo, and Raphael return to battle bigger, badder villains, alongside April O'Neil (Megan Fox), Vern Fenwick (Will Arnett), and a newcomer: the hockey-masked vigilante Casey Jones (Stephen Amell). The turtles spring into action to battle Shredder (Brian Tee), mad scientist Baxter Stockman (Tyler Perry), Bebop (Gary Anthony Williams), Rocksteady (Stephen "Sheamus" Farrelly) and the notorious Krang (voice of Brad Garrett). Admittedly, "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows," directed by "Earth to Echo's" Dave Green and co-written by Josh Applebaum and Andre Nemec, does have some spry energy to it and the young ones will not be disappointed, but it's an CGI overstuffed, annoying affair and something that even the kids may not remember after it's over ("I liked it when Donatello said...or wait was that Raphael?"). This is a sloppy mish-mash of other movies such as "Transformers" and "Men in Black," haplessly incorporating some sci-fi elements, with a climax that seems directly lifted from "Transformers," not to mention some useless action sequences - one of which lasting a good 10 minutes - that has the turtles jumping out of an airplane then swimming downstream in a river to grab some important serum, only to end up empty-handed. Unsurprising is how dumb all of the characters are, especially the super-annoying, lame-brained pair of Bebop and Rocksteady, and a wasted Tyler Perry in a grab-the-money-and-run turn. Just when you thought Bay couldn't hit the lowest-common denominator button in action movies again, well he did it again with the energetic but forgettable "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows." As for Laura Linney, you're a great actress (and next to Fox and the green things, you're practically Orson Welles), but I hope you've cashed this check to move on to something that doesn't involve Ninja Turtles. You've been warned: stay away.